This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Someone shattered a urinal.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize