he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
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