I must be too annoying 4 u.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
