Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
