I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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