why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Randomize
