forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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