No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
