My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
