can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Randomize
