with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
