i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
