The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
