Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
