Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Success! We fucked roommates!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
