No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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