No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
