So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Randomize
