If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
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