He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
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