wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize