Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
