Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
