I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
Randomize
