It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
Randomize
