This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
