im about as happy as oj after his trial
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
