I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
