Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
