Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Randomize
