So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
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