Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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