No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
