Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
