There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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