Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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