No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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