He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
love makes seman taste better
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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