so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
are you so shy because you have an std?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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