he wants to bone in the snuggie
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
