All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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