I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
When did angry sex become our thing?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
