I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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