.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
