All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Randomize
