I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
It's never too late to be topless.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
