what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize