there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
