everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Randomize