Betty ford says i'm here all night
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
