Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Randomize
