Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This beer is not sobering me up at all
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Randomize
