at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
