I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Randomize
