if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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