We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Randomize
