They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Randomize
