I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Say something about gay babies.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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