Its about making memories worth repressing
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
