If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
