Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
where are my pants?
in the oven.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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