That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
