I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
