now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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