Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
