I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
