dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
