What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Randomize
